Deborah Stokes Sharp discusses the emotional and social challenges of managing reflux, focusing on finding the balance between personal health needs and maintaining relationships with others.
The Emotional Side of Reflux and Chronic Illness
Josef Kreitmayer
Hello, and welcome to another session of the Reflux Summit. We’re here again with our wonderful guest, Deborah Sharp. Deborah, welcome.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Thank you, Josef. I’m glad to be here.
Josef Kreitmayer
Deborah previously did an amazing session about habit changes and touched on the value of support groups. We decided to dive deeper today into managing reflux in social settings, the psychology of choice and agency, and the role of group therapy for people with chronic illness.
Deborah is a licensed clinical social worker and certified group psychotherapist. She brings a unique perspective on the emotional and relational challenges people face with chronic conditions. While many of our speakers focus on food, lifestyle, and physical strategies, Deborah specializes in the emotional and social side of this experience.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
I’ve been running short- and long-term groups for 25 years. I truly believe in the power of social connection and the healing that happens in group settings. We are hardwired to connect with other people.
Navigating Social Situations with Reflux
Josef Kreitmayer
Food is such a central part of social life—sharing meals, going out with friends. For people managing reflux, especially with dietary changes, this can be very hard.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Absolutely. It’s difficult to balance honoring your physical and emotional needs while meeting social expectations.
Imagine friends planning a late dinner at a spicy restaurant. You know it won’t work for your body, but saying no repeatedly can lead to isolation. Going may cause physical discomfort, while not going affects your sense of connection.
That’s why community is so important. Support groups offer one layer of connection, but we also need support in everyday life.
Josef Kreitmayer
So it really comes down to boundaries—knowing what’s good for us and communicating that while maintaining relationships.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Exactly. Before we can communicate our needs, we have to understand them ourselves. That inner process—valuing yourself enough to name your needs—is a big part of living with chronic illness.
Everyone has to do a personal cost-benefit analysis. There’s the physical cost of triggering symptoms and the emotional cost of missing out.
Boundaries, Self-Worth, and Special Occasions
Josef Kreitmayer
Holidays and special occasions can make those decisions even harder.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Yes. During meaningful events, boundaries can feel different. I’m not suggesting abandoning your health plan, but emotional importance can change how you weigh choices.
Josef Kreitmayer
I experienced that at Christmas. I slipped into old habits and suffered afterward. I almost decided not to celebrate with my family again—but then I realized they didn’t care what I ate. They just wanted me there.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Exactly. You showed up because the relationship mattered. Keeping your focus on why you’re there can help you navigate difficult settings.
Reflux, Workplaces, and Stigma
Josef Kreitmayer
What about work environments? People may need longer lunch breaks, walks after meals, or special food. How do you navigate that, especially with stigma around chronic illness?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
There are two layers: accommodations and stigma.
In many places, accommodations are possible, but they often require disclosure. Some people don’t want to be identified by their illness. They want to be seen as a whole person.
That requires internal work—believing your needs are valid, recognizing your worth, and communicating clearly and kindly.
Group Therapy and the Path to Self-Advocacy
Deborah Stokes Sharp
This is where group therapy can be powerful. I offer two main types of groups.
Short-term skills-based groups focus on learning how to communicate and advocate for yourself.
Long-term therapy groups help people do deeper internal work around self-worth and confidence.
Before communication skills can work, people need to feel internally ready to use them. That often means working through shame or fear of rejection.
The Value of Support Groups
Josef Kreitmayer
Many people with chronic illness just need someone to talk to—but don’t want to burden friends or family.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Exactly. Support groups offer a space to speak freely and be vulnerable. Everyone shares a common experience, even if symptoms differ.
That shared understanding reduces fear of judgment. People often feel relief simply being able to speak openly without explaining themselves.
Joy, Pain, and Growth in Group Settings
Josef Kreitmayer
Groups can get very emotional—sometimes there’s crying or deep vulnerability. How do you balance that with it being uplifting?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
A healthy group holds space for both. Grief and pain can coexist with pride and empowerment.
Chronic illness is painful, but it can also lead to unexpected growth—greater self-awareness, strength, or deeper relationships.
Coping with Setbacks and Emotional Support
Josef Kreitmayer
Setbacks can be devastating. When someone feels like they’ve figured things out and then relapse, it can feel like starting over.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
That moment is incredibly painful—but it’s not starting from zero. You’ve gained tools and insight. You’re adjusting, not failing.
Support is especially important then, whether from loved ones or a therapist.
These moments are temporary, even if they don’t feel that way. Hearing that from someone outside your emotional state can be grounding.
Regaining a Sense of Control and Letting Go of Loneliness
Josef Kreitmayer
Many people feel they’ve lost control over their body. How do groups help with that?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Groups create space to express grief, anger, and frustration. Being heard reduces isolation.
Emotional loneliness—feeling unseen or cut off—is deeply painful. Group connection helps ease that.
When feelings stay inside, they grow heavier. When expressed, they create space for relief and healing.
How Group Therapy Works
Josef Kreitmayer
What does a typical group look like structurally?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Most chronic illness groups are online to conserve energy.
Short-term groups last 8 or 12 weeks, meeting weekly for 75 minutes. They include teaching, tracking exercises, and discussion.
Support groups are drop-in and focus on emotional connection.
Long-term psychotherapy groups require at least a six-month commitment and focus on deeper emotional and relational work.
Short-term groups are capped at 10 people, therapy groups at 8, while support groups can be larger.
Real-Life Transformations Through Group Work
Deborah Stokes Sharp
One participant joined a short-term group while deeply depressed. Through breathing, gradual movement, better eating, and shared accountability, she transformed her physical and emotional health. Two years later, she maintained those changes.
Another client believed he was unlovable. Over time, being accepted and heard in a group shifted his self-perception. He eventually got married.
Outcomes vary, but these stories show what’s possible when people invest in this work.
How to Join a Group and What to Expect
Josef Kreitmayer
How can someone join one of your groups?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Visit Deborah-Sharp.com. You can schedule an appointment or reach out by phone or email.
I always meet with participants at least twice before group entry to build rapport and review guidelines.
Group participation is a commitment—emotionally, financially, and time-wise. I want people to make informed choices.
A First Step: Regulated Breathing and Stillness
Josef Kreitmayer
For someone just starting their healing journey, what’s one thing they can do right away?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Regulated breathing. Take 10 deep belly breaths every 90 minutes. Let daily routines, like bathroom breaks, remind you.
Also, stillness. Even two minutes a day helps you reconnect with what’s true for you.
Self-awareness is the foundation for everything else.
