Deborah Stokes Sharp discusses the emotional and social challenges of managing reflux, focusing on finding the balance between personal health needs and maintaining relationships with others.
Social Challenges of Reflux and Chronic Illness
Josef Kreitmayer
Hello, welcome to another amazing session here at the Reflux Summit.
We’re here again with our dear guest Deborah Stokes Sharp. Deborah, welcome.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Thank you, Josef. I’m glad to be here.
Josef Kreitmayer
Deborah already shared an insightful session on habit changes and the benefits of support groups. We decided to make a second recording to go deeper into some areas.
For those who haven’t seen the first session, Deborah is a licensed clinical social worker and certified group psychotherapist. She specializes in the emotional and relational challenges people face when living with chronic conditions like reflux.
Many speakers at this summit focus on food, lifestyle, and the body. Your focus is the emotional and psychological side—and I’m very happy to have you back.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Thank you, Josef. I’m happy to be here.
The Power of Connection in Chronic Illness
Josef Kreitmayer
Today we’re going to talk about managing reflux and chronic illness in social settings, the psychology of choice and agency, the role of group therapy, and what real support looks like.
Can you start by sharing a bit about your background working with groups?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Sure. I’ve been running short-term and long-term groups for about 25 years.
I truly believe in the power of group healing and human connection. We are hardwired to connect, and I love seeing what becomes possible when people feel safe and supported together.
Food, Social Life, and the Constant Balancing Act
Josef Kreitmayer
Food is such a central part of social life—celebrations, dinners, family gatherings. For people managing reflux, that becomes complicated very quickly.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
It really does. People often feel torn between caring for their physical needs and staying connected socially.
Imagine being invited to a late dinner at a spicy restaurant. You can say no and risk feeling left out, or you can go and risk physical discomfort. That constant decision-making is exhausting.
If someone never joins social events, people may stop inviting them—and that loss of connection is deeply painful. Community matters.
Boundaries, Family Dynamics, and Self-Worth
Josef Kreitmayer
This gets even more complicated within families and close relationships.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Yes. Communication is essential—but before we communicate outwardly, we have to understand our own needs.
That requires self-reflection and self-worth. You have to believe your needs matter enough to express them.
Each person has to do their own cost–benefit analysis. No doctor or partner can decide what’s right for you in every situation.
Special Occasions and Flexible Decision-Making
Josef Kreitmayer
Holidays and celebrations can really test that balance.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Absolutely. Those moments are emotionally charged, and food often plays a central role.
I’m not suggesting ignoring your health—but the decision-making process may shift. It’s rarely black and white.
Josef Kreitmayer
Last Christmas, I made choices that weren’t great for my body and almost decided to avoid future family gatherings.
Then I realized my family doesn’t care what I eat—they care that I’m there.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Exactly. The relationship is what matters. Choosing presence, even when it’s hard, is powerful.
Chronic Illness in the Workplace
Josef Kreitmayer
What about work environments? Needing longer breaks, bringing special food—there can be stigma around that.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
There are really two issues: accommodations and stigma.
In many workplaces, accommodations are possible—but only if you disclose your condition. Some people don’t want to be defined by their illness.
That’s where internal agency matters. Knowing your needs are valid helps you advocate for yourself clearly and kindly.
Short-Term vs. Long-Term Group Therapy
Josef Kreitmayer
Can you explain the difference between short-term and long-term groups?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Short-term groups are skills-based—communication, mood management, habit change, self-advocacy.
Long-term psychotherapy groups focus on deeper inner work: identity, self-worth, emotional patterns.
You need that internal foundation before communication skills can really work.
Why Support Groups Matter
Josef Kreitmayer
What role do support groups play when it’s hard to talk openly with family or friends?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Support groups provide safety. Everyone shares a common experience, so there’s no need to explain or justify yourself.
You can speak freely without fear of judgment. That alone reduces isolation and emotional strain.
Emotional Depth, Growth, and Empowerment
Josef Kreitmayer
I imagine groups can be very emotional.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
They are—and that’s a good thing. There’s room for grief, anger, pride, and joy.
Chronic illness is painful, but learning how to live with it can lead to strength, clarity, and self-respect. Many people find unexpected growth through that process.
Handling Setbacks Without Losing Hope
Josef Kreitmayer
What about setbacks—when symptoms return after progress?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Those moments are incredibly discouraging. It can feel like starting over.
But you’re not at zero—you’ve learned things. Support helps remind people that setbacks are temporary and manageable.
Group Structure and Accessibility
Josef Kreitmayer
How are your groups structured?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Most are online to conserve energy and reduce barriers.
• Short-term groups meet weekly for 8–12 weeks, 75 minutes each
• Support groups are more open and flexible
• Long-term therapy groups meet weekly for 90 minutes with a minimum six-month commitmentGroup size is intentionally small to build trust and connection.
Transformational Outcomes from Group Work
Deborah Stokes Sharp
One woman joined my Mood, Food & Groove group while deeply depressed.
Through breathing and gradual changes, she began walking, then running, then cooking with her partner. Two years later, her life looked completely different.
Another client believed he was unlovable because of his illness. Being accepted in the group changed that belief—and he’s now married.
These outcomes aren’t guaranteed, but they show what’s possible.
How to Join a Group
Josef Kreitmayer
How can people work with you?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Visit deborah-sharp.com to schedule a consultation.
I always meet with people individually at least twice before they join a group, so we can ensure it’s the right fit and that expectations are clear.
A Foundational Practice: Regulated Breathing
Josef Kreitmayer
What’s one thing someone can do right now to support themselves?
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Regulated breathing.
Take 10 slow, deep belly breaths every 90 minutes. Fully exhale. Let your body calm.
Stillness and breath reconnect you to what’s true for you—and that awareness is the foundation for everything else.
Josef Kreitmayer
Simple, but incredibly powerful. Thank you, Deborah.
Deborah Stokes Sharp
Thank you. I’ve really enjoyed this.
